just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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