Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You have to summon your inner elephant
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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