i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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