First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
