I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just cut my nipple shaving
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
