My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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