She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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