you win again, gameday.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
