I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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