tell your sister to shave her snatch
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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