How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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