oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
