respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Last time i carry you out of a forest
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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