I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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