when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
