i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
there is puke in my bra ... again
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
