i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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