Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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