Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
