i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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