FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
