i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
