...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
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