I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
