This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
