I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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