I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
