Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
