I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sarcasm needs its own font
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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