Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
