i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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