If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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