I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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