Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
