Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
