You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
