she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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