If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
