Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
