Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
