2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
