I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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