I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
