I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
