is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Two words: nipple clamps
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