is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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