.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
