2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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