both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
