I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
