Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
