sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
