God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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