Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
